Harellen
by AHazy
Summary: Bull keeps hearing a certain word directed towards his kadan, and pondering its meaning, decides to do some investigating. What he discovers explains certain things about her, and by extension, their relationship. Fluff and Angst (if you squint). Iron Bull/Fem!Trevelyan, Solas/Fem!Trevelyan friendship (if you squint some more)


" _Harellen._ "

The Iron Bull took in the stutter of the Inquisitor's feet as the word was uttered by an elven woman as they passed by her, but the boss held her head up and continued walking, face impassive. He made a note to ask what the word meant; it wasn't the first time that someone had made reference to the Inquisitor using it.

Particularly when they encountered the Dalish the word was flung about; the Keeper in the Exalted Plains had confessed that he was surprised and not surprised to see that a 'harellen' was Herald, but Amaranta had gotten straight to business, even gone beyond that and assisted the clan. The Keeper seemed…taken aback by her lack of reaction to the term. Several other Dalish had referred to her using the term, seeming very embarrassed when they found out that the individual they referred to was in fact, the Inquisitor.

"Harellen." Amaranta turned to look back at him, surprised, her thick red brows furrowed,

"I beg your pardon?"

"Harellen. What does it mean, kadan?" He watched her closely as she opened her mouth to answer, but seemed to think better of it, and said, turning away with a slight smirk, her violet eyes turning to another direction,

"C'mon Bull, we've got more important things to worry about! I've no idea what it means." Bull frowned; Amaranta looked everyone in the eye when she spoke, especially Bull, and now she wouldn't look at him, instead walking over to another group of refugees, a small gaggle of children who greeted her enthusiastically. He was going to get to the bottom of this, if it killed him. She was hiding something; he could see it in her refusal to maintain eye contact.

Harellen. The only people who said it were elves; therefore, Solas had to know what it meant.

In the busy-busy atmosphere of Skyhold, he didn't get to speak to Solas until the day had winded down, and he went to the rotunda to find the man. The elf was busy painting, as several books lay open on his desk.

"Iron Bull, what brings you here?"

"Ehhh…I had a question. It has to do with the boss." Solas turned away from his work, a concerned expression on his visage. Bull suppressed a chuckle at this, although the mage had been wary of the Herald at first, even hesitant, her endless questioning seemed to break through to the older man. He also suspected that it was more than just fatherly affection on Solas' part…

"If it is about the mark, she claims it no longer pains her, although I'm barely inclined to believe her." Bull snorted; he could see her rubbing at it when she thought no one was looking. It seemed to pain her in the heat now; when they'd last been to the Western Approach, she'd hid her hands beneath her cloak and massaged the mark as they rode to the keep. But that wasn't what he was here for.

"No, I…what does harellen mean?" Solas' face went blank, and he asked, slowly,

"Repeat that word?"

"Harellen." Solas' face grew rather dark, and he growled out, rather unusual for the collected mage,

"…it's a particularly nasty slur referring to elf-bloods. I'm surprised you know of the word." Bull was silent for a moment, processing it. Unlike most elfbloods, who appeared for all intents and purposes, human, Amaranta had slightly elongated ears, a peculiar nose, and her eyes were far wider than other humans. Not to mention she was rather small and dainty; she could fit on Bull's shoulder with little fuss and yet had hips and a bust larger than most elves. And for a non-mage human, she was extremely sensitive to magic.

Sera had displayed some frustration upon asking Amaranta what side she identified with more, the younger woman had disregarded her question with some irritation, which was odd; the two archers usually got along well. For the first few months he had known her, when she was still the Herald, she kept her face covered at all times, with a muffler and hood. The first time he'd seen her face had been as she recovered after the destruction of Haven; their companions seemed shocked she was an elf-blood. She **had** mentioned that both sides of her family had secrets…

So of course anyone looking at her would figure that she wasn't entirely human. But to throw that sort of slur around so **casually** …especially to the woman doing everything she could to combat Corypheus…

"What does it mean?" Solas came down from his ladder, wiping his hands,

"Trick child. Harel, for Fen'Harel, the Dread Wolf and trickster, and len, for child. She's not human, but she's not elven either; she's considered a monster. An illusion, of sorts, someone trying to be an elf, but she will never be accepted." Bull gazed at the man for several long minutes before groaning,

"That's fucked up." Solas' expression became sympathetic,

"Sadly. But Amaranta must have learned to ignore it over time. I do imagine it bothers her, deep down. If what Leliana has told me is correct, her paternal grandmother and maternal grandfather were elven."

"Is that how you see her?" Bull didn't regret that his words came out a threatening growl. Solas turned to face him, a rare expression of surprise on his face, which morphed into something akin to disappointment,

"See her like…no. I must confess, I haven't come across many visible elf-bloods in my travels, so **fascinated** is a much better term. But no, our Inquisitor is no monster. Human, elf, both or otherwise, she's a good person." Bull, armed with this knowledge, gave a wave of thanks to Solas before turning off to find Amaranta.

He found her in her room, putting some letters to the fire. Her way of keeping things confidential, she said. When he came in, she greeted him, her lips curving into a grin,

"Oh, Bull, there you are, I…" He leaned against the sturdy wood of her bedposts,

"Why didn't you tell me?" She immediately knew what he spoke of and the smile fell from her face. She became very small and quiet in the span of seconds, and looked away from him. Bull sighed and came to stand in front of her, gently taking her chin and turning her head towards him. "Kadan…"

"I…it's not…what I mean is…" She looked at her feet, chewing on her lip, "I've gotten used to it."

"Why didn't you say anything?" He was concerned; he didn't really give a flying fuck what someone he didn't know thought about him, but he was especially protective of Amaranta. She didn't deserve this vitriol.

"I get it from both sides, humans and elves. I didn't belong to one or the other so I learned to ignore it." He could see the tears in her eyes, "I'm not ashamed of my mother's father nor my father's mother, but…"

"It still hurts." She nodded, her lips quivering slightly.

"I've known I was different since the first time I asked Grandfather Syrio why his ears were round and mine weren't. He didn't tell me my mother wasn't his child that day, but even so…I knew I was different. For the longest time, I **hated** my ears. I wanted so desperately to be human or elf. To just be **one** and not both." Bull picked Amaranta up, so that she could wrap her arms around his neck and bury her face in his warm skin; he rubbed soothing circles on her back as she began to cry. Moments later her sobs had ebbed into pathetic little sniffles, and she rubbed at her eyes, looking like the 19-year-old she really was in that moment.

"…Kadan."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just…I just didn't know how to explain it. I've gotten so used to hearing that word I just…" Bull gently rested her on the bed, and took her hands in his own, much larger ones.

"Hey." She looked up at him, her violet eyes shining with tears. "Who cares what they say about you? You're still my ass-kicking Inquisitor." Amaranta couldn't help but try to muffle a giggle, and he coaxed it out of her.

"…That why you broke that guy's jaw for calling me an ox?"

"…It was rude."

"I'm flattered, but I don't care about him. I know that they're dragon horns."

"That's…it's not the point. Bull people look at you and see a mindless brute when you're so much more than that. You're intelligent, and charming…and you look out for your men and your comrades. So when people compare you to…a **cow** I just…" Her tiny hands clenched and unclenched, and her dark skin took on a reddish flush. He laughed at her frustration, and tucked a strand of reddish-gold behind her ear.

"Amaranta."

"…I know." He leaned over and kissed her deeply, with the young woman returning the kiss. Coming away, he caressed her cheek, then leaned over and nibbled on her ear, breathing into it,

"And for the record…your ears are **hot**."


End file.
